Thursday, March 8, 2012

To Love or Something Like it


Everyone wants the perfect relationship, but too often we compromise the Wait for the right person for the Need to have someone around.

No one wants to be lonely, so desperately people compromise their feelings, strong beliefs on how they think love should be, based upon surface values and not what they really feel. It seems everyone’s afraid to dig deep to see the other person, not just the fantasy that’s created but to really see the other person.

It’s easy to create a perfect relationship in the back of your mind, but what happens when things don’t go as planned? …the blind eye is turned, the famous “doubting the instincts” comes into play, then the excuses are made ~he/she can change, the relationship is too new to bring up the issues or make demands, or I can’t do better than what I have right now, so I’ll stick it out until something better comes along.

Why do women do that?

Are we that desperate to be loved that we would take anything that’s utters the word “love.”
Too often I hear women say; “we’re having problems in our marriage, so we’re gonna have a baby”
When did, having a baby dissolves marital problems?
Trust me sooner or later, the same issues before baby ~will only be worse after baby.
When did Trading the Wait for the right person with the right qualities become “the right now and for all the wrong reasons?”

*He’s good to me but not marriage material
*He cheats but he can change
*Our sex life is good, but we have no open communicate between us
*Yes he’s good in the bedroom but he’s completely useless outside the bedroom
*He completely lacks what you need in the bedroom but treats you like a queen outside of the bedroom
*He’s built like Fabio or a Greek God but he makes you feel like the ground he’s walking on
*Or the Famous …he’s quiet or too reserved but I need a Bad boy to rough me up now and then.
** The list of excuses goes on and on….

But what do you do then?

Can you be honest with yourself & the other party & be ok with the thought of being alone?
Or play the role of the doting girl “staying in a relationship, that’s not working” for the sake of not being alone?
Being single is not as crippling as everyone thinks, yes you have days that you get lonely
And some days are so perfect; it completely reminds you, why you chose to be single in the first place.

I refuse to want something that only looks like love for the time being, or something I can tolerate for the sake of being in a relationship

In a healthy relationship:
Your other half should be able to lift you up when you can’t seem to lift yourself up
You’re too weary to pray, he’ll pray with you or for you
Even on your worst day, he can look you in the eyes and say “you’re beautiful”
Not only sees you, but knows your heart
You can say you are OK to no end and he’ll still hold you close because he knows you are lying thru your teeth

Your fight is his fight
Encourages you to be yourself and not what he sees out in the world
Loves you for who you are and not who he thinks you should be.
Should be able to talk about everything or nothing and still be comfortable in the silence of our nothingness
And everything, should be vise versa

Love shouldn’t have to be such a compromise that 50% of the time you are unhappy with the other person.
If that’s the case, then what’s the point?

So is being Single all that bad?

I don’t think so! God has put me in a place where I see first hand, how short life can be, and its’ made me realize that “Treasuring Everyday like it’s a Gift” has become my motto. I cherish my heart and the people I give it to, and I’ve come to the conclusion that Life is too short to be in the wrong relationship or something ….like a good relationship.


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