Just when I thought things were looking up, My life throws me a curve ball.
Finally I can add SCAMMED to my life's lessons.
I tried to get rid of a few things for my move into my new place, since most of it wouldn't fit anyway and I really didn't want to take all my "old baggage" with me. I posted my bedroom set on craigslist.com, after 4 days of posting; I received an email from a guy out of state that was interested in buying.
We exchanged emails a couple times, about payment and pickup, he said that was fine he was going to send payment and arrange for someone to pickup the furniture. A week later, I received a UPS envelope with a check for $3000. I started wondering why he would send me a check for so much, anyway before I touched it, I emailed him to find out the reason for the over-payment, he said the bank cut the check and did it wrong, so all I had to do was: deposit or cash the check and when it clears to send the excess portion ($2000) to the shipper who is in cape coral, fl. in order for them to pick it up.
I deposited the check; it took the bank 10 days to clear it. After the funds were available, I notified the buyer so he can get the info to his shipper. He asked me to send it by money gram to Kevin in Cape Coral, FL. I did that and sent him the reference info so he can get with his shipper.
2 days later he (buyer) sent me an email asking me if I can send him the money back because, the person he was purchasing the furniture for got in a terrible car accident and he would need the money to help pay for the hospital bill and that he contacted the shipper to stop the pickup and return the money to him.. at this point I started feeling weird (like this WAS a scam) so I started collecting email correspondence that was exchanged between us, I copied the money gram receipt and I had already kept a copy of the check. JUST IN CASE.
I spoke to a couple people about my gut feeling and they all shared my though about the whole thing being a scam, but there was not much I could have done then, because I had already sent off the excess money to the shipper.
Got paid yesterday, called the bank because I tried to get gas this morning and couldn't, so now I'm worried abit because I got paid last night by direct deposit, and haven't really spent anything. Got to work called the bank they said I have a zero balance, and that the check for the $3000 was returned unpaid, so now they took my money that I just worked my ass all week for and I still owe them ($2,114) basically the money that I sent by money gram to this asshole, I have to replace.
So not only will none of my bills be paid, I have no money until I get paid in the next two weeks plus I still have to repay the bank, because they said there is really nothing they can do because the check was in my name, I was the one who deposited it and not someone else and that I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR IT.
Like Hell I am, they cleared the check so on my part, I'm thinking ---- the bank cleared the check so why should I be held responsible.
I stopped my direct deposit for the next pay period so I can at least be able to pay some of my bills at the beginning of next month. I keep telling myself I am not going to cry, just have to stop being so trusting in people, BUT AGAIN THIS TOO SHALL PASS JUST LIKE EVERY OUNCE OF DARKNESS THAT HAS SHADOWED MY LIFE THIS YEAR.
Now I have to go fight with the fraud department on my lunch break
Haven't been on in a while, haven't had a minute to write anything since I've been busy, trying to start life over on my own. But this week has been the week straight from of hell. but things are looking up, its really really hard right now, going at it with the lawyers, taking days off to go to court, running around trying to find a new place, because I gave myself a deadline to move (end of august) and i'm sticking to it. Decided it was time to get out of my house and (start my own life) not with something we built for a family that's broken, but something I can build on my own and still be happy.
My whole week was bad but Thursday tipped the scales causing me to have an anxiety attack at work, normally I don't let things get to me AT ALL but the devil was really jabbing at me, finally broke in, and I CAVED as expected.
While trying to look at apartments with the only time I really get to do it (after work). All day the temperature was maybe -5 degrees to a heat stroke, then out of nowhere, no clouds, no warning the sky opened up and it just started pouring down, as if I was supposed to just give up.
Didn't like the town homes I saw, the second one I guess because it was raining the other person didn't show up for the viewing despite me sitting in the parking lot for at least 30 minutes in the rain, got frustrated and decided I had to get going.
By then the rain eased up and the most amazing rainbow came out and I kept watching it as I drive (don't ever try that by the way), thinking how amazing and beautiful the little things can be, and for a moment I completely forgot about everything (my ex, my overpriced lawyers and their jargon, house hunting, packing, work) just everything that happened earlier that 'cause me to flip out, and for that moment I felt – calm for some reason.
As I drove off, I was thinking and saying to myself (I know you are there and I know I don't always look up, its hard to give into faith and just trust when I've been disappointed so many times, but I know you are there watching and guiding regardless)
Headed out on US1 the rain subsided, slowly I drove home, no stereo to interrupt just lost in thought, by then it was 6.30 my phone rang, a realtor (john, who lives in MO) called me after I left him a message 2 days ago, he said the one I was interested in was already sold but he has connections with other realtors in my area and will give then a call and call me back in 2 minutes.
He called me back in 5minutes with the number to another realtor and said he gave her my info and I should give her a call, I thanked him and hung up, thinking I'll call in the morning because it's already late in the evening
Before I could hang up the phone with john, I got a call from Kathy saying john gave her my info and if I wanted to come by and view the place I can because she will be there another 30 minutes….. Now I'm thinking??? I'm puzzled!! it was still daylight but its late (no one shows apartments at that hour of the day) it took me a good 30 minutes to get there because I got lost and it was raining again. By then it was 7pm
When I got there and saw the place- my mouth fell open, I could believe what I was looking at for the price she was telling me.
we looked at a few more, she said I have to pay an application fee to run my credit so I can qualify and start the process, told her I would be back the next day with the money, thanked her profusely because she made my evening seem brighter. I went home showered, (I ran out of boxes so I couldn't pack anything, bored out of my mind because anna was with her dad, so with not much I can do) I crawled into bed and prayed like I never prayed before.
I prayed for me I prayed for her I prayed for everyone near & far I prayed for enemies that became friends I prayed for friends who revel in becoming & staying enemies I prayed for everyone that has tried to hold me down I prayed for everyone that seems to standing in my way I prayed for the ones that smile with me & stabs me in the back I prayed for enlightenment I prayed for "him" he who hath made my heart crumble - even though I was hurt, I never want to see him stumble or falter And lastly I asked for guidance, peace of mind and understanding.
After all that praying (I think I went to bed 5 lbs lighter) Got up Friday took the scenic route to work, found out I had no money to do the application because of a few other things with my lawyer. so I would have to wait till next week when I got paid, I was a little sad but didn't let it get me down (if its meant to be it will be) my heart felt little lighter, I was off to a very good start, plus its Friday, everyone noticed I was little bit chirpier, which is a big thing, because everyone can tell when something is up with me, because I always put on a smile no matter what.
Anyway, was talking to a friend of mine, said he will loan me the money for the application even though I didn't ask for it, which I thought was really sweet but still declined because of pride. He was persistent about it, made a few good points about what's more important, right now. So of course I took the offer.
I was ESTATIC, I COULDNT WAIT TILL LUNCH to go start the application, I got there took another look at MINE AND MY DAUGHTERS future community.. it was just as beautiful as the first time i saw it, then worry started to set in, "THE WHAT IF?......"
Left thinking what if I don't get it, what if they don't accept my offer, what if my credit is not good enough then I'll loose my fee and then I'm back to square one. I don't want to get my hopes up and then be sad again about something I never had. Got back to work, could barely sit still in my chair – waiting for the realtor to call me.
At 2pm the realtor called me and said I GOT THE PLACE. I could barely breathe (alil dramatic I know, but after roadblock after roadblock all week, THIS WAS MY SILVER LINING). Now deciding when to move in is another thing because I still have to pack, which is minor… since I decided I'm selling everything in my house so I wont have to worry about carrying huge furniture with me, plus if I got rid of everything, I would be starting with a clean palette which is what I am looking for.
Within 30 minutes of my first call, another realtor called me saying the townhouse I was interested in came through: THEY ACCEPTED MY OFFER and its mine if I want it, I just have to sign the papers and fax it back to her ASAP
OH MY GOODNESS: again in AWE, yesterday, I wanted to curl up and just forget the world because of my search and everything in between and today I have 2 beautiful places that I loved, wanted, got and don't know which one to choose from.
Decisions, Decisions, I had everyone in my office helping me with my pros & cons & my "CAN I AFFORD IT" spreadsheet, everyone laughs at it, but I think it's a very realistic spreadsheet.
So I decided to go take another peek into the place and decide from there. I did and of course I saw things clearer more so than when I first walked in without any options, so I made my decision. And will be moving in end of august… Great community has all the amenities I was looking for considering my daughter. It has more space for shoes than I can ever fill and to top it off its 10 minutes from my job, now thats what I call a blessing.
MORAL TO MY DRAMA is: there is nothing a little prayer cant fix, when life circumstances forces you to your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray.
There goes my message in a bottle I’ve sent it out to sea Hoping no one finds it And release what’s left of me Trying so hard not to remember All the sweet things I did seek Thought I found something special Something worthwhile Even precious enough to keep Silently I watch the tide Take everything I thought I had Taunting my watchful eye Pulling it further and further Dragging it out to deep So much I locked away in this bottle Now it’s being swept away Popping up and down with a wobble Finally it disappeared from sight My message filled with emotion Lost forever Out on this merciless ocean
Today i woke up fighting through tears to breathe even throughout the day, i catch myself drying off in the rain drying my eyes pushing through the anxiety stretching my strangled smile, ignoring the pain seems lately I've been letting my path slowly consume me feeling overwhelmed for what has... angry at what is.... impatient at what should be... and scared for what could be... forgetting to breathe has become so easy so for a change,
Today.......... I didnt pray for my journey to be easy, but for strength and resilience to endure this difficult one
Demanding more But gave so little So afraid, not to be heard But never care to listen So many words But when it came my time Nothing from your lips Did my eager ears find Tried to make you see Angles from where I stand Opening a window to my soul Begging for you to understand But through my eyes Nothing that was meaningful You ever cared to see Only the snares and sarcasm at the end Which was just a little something You, yourself taught me
Last night as I lay Lifeless on my bed Sole thoughts of you Posses my head Finally fell asleep I think I dreamt a bit Because suddenly My darkened room Is now fully lit Quickly I looked around To see if you were there That's when I realize I must be in a dream For what once was No longer lays here.
Today should have been What most get to call a happy day Dinner, some dancing Maybe a corny anniversary card or two Pity all I got this year was pent-up anger towards you
Though it’s hard to get past my rage Today is the day I’m turning the page On to a new chapter in my life Only as a mother, not as your wife For us time has stood still Hours seem like days Days seem like weeks Weeks turning into months Some days nothing seems to matter So unattached but mostly scattered
An unwritten chapter … Where shall I start? I feel like I’m new at this The “living my own life” part Tired Scared Not sure what to expect But today I’ll try Putting one foot in front of the next
Trying to be strong But so much can go wrong Living life on purpose Living like I’m sure Waking up like I mean it Trying not to end up Again behind this door
A hint of hesitation A lot racing through my mind Not sure what to look for So afraid of what I’ll find Everything’s moving fast Maybe I need more time to think this through Afraid to face the world Afraid to start anew Pulse racing Heart pounding Chocked up by uncertainty Slowly giving up Sinking back in my shadow For one more day in my sorrow’s I’ll wallow And who knows……… Maybe I’ll try this “New Chapter” again tomorrow!
Born Jamaican, residing in Florida: A creative soul, determined to make the most of my life each day.
I love to write but I'm an emotional writer so I write what/when I feel. Music is my greatest inspiration, it doesn’t matter the genre.
I have a daughter, My Muse, My Arianna who is growing up faster than I can keep up, she's constantly guarding my heart & lighting my life.
I’m a Shoe Whore and an Adventurer so I’m constantly on the move, [sometimes I feel if I stop, the world revolves around me in slow motion, matrix style]. I’m always looking for an adrenaline rush *if it can be climbed, i will climb it or jump off it*
I love learning new things ~so im a sucker for trying anything atleast once.
I try to not let people or things complicate me, when life hands out the lemons, I grab some tequila, salt, my pen/paper & write it all away..
So thank you for stopping in and checking out my pages, I hope there is something here for everyone, don't forget to let me know what you think.