Message in a bottle

There goes my message in a bottle
I’ve sent it out to sea
Hoping no one finds it
And release what’s left of me
Trying so hard not to remember
All the sweet things I did seek
Thought I found something special
Something worthwhile
Even precious enough to keep
Silently I watch the tide
Take everything I thought I had
Taunting my watchful eye
Pulling it further and further
Dragging it out to deep
So much I locked away in this bottle
Now it’s being swept away
Popping up and down with a wobble
Finally it disappeared from sight
My message filled with emotion
Lost forever
Out on this merciless ocean

Resilience

Today i woke up fighting through tears to breathe
even throughout the day, i catch myself drying off in the rain
drying my eyes pushing through the anxiety
stretching my strangled smile, ignoring the pain
seems lately I've been letting my path slowly consume me
feeling overwhelmed for what has...
angry at what is....
impatient at what should be...
and scared for what could be...
forgetting to breathe has become so easy
so for a change,

Today.......... I didnt pray for my journey to be easy,
but for strength and resilience to endure this difficult one

Effortless

Demanding more
But gave so little
So afraid, not to be heard
But never care to listen
So many words
But when it came my time
Nothing from your lips
Did my eager ears find
Tried to make you see
Angles from where I stand
Opening a window to my soul
Begging for you to understand
But through my eyes
Nothing that was meaningful
You ever cared to see
Only the snares and sarcasm at the end
Which was just a little something
You, yourself taught me

Phanton Zone

Last night as I lay
Lifeless on my bed
Sole thoughts of you
Posses my head
Finally fell asleep
I think I dreamt a bit
Because suddenly
My darkened room
Is now fully lit
Quickly I looked around
To see if you were there
That's when I realize
I must be in a dream
For what once was
No longer lays here.

I Don’t Feel Bad

I walked away from your door

I was angry I was sad  

I wish my heart was breaking

But it doesn’t lie

My eyes are open

And I choose not to cry

You are not the one I thought you were

So it’s much easy if we say goodbye

 

 

The End

 

 

© Lisa Goycochea

Eye of the beholder

A heart so rare, so sweet
That’s you
Perfect and beautiful
In everything that you do

I owe you so much
You just don’t understand
You have given so much
To this tattered heart in hand

My heart pounds rapidly
As I think of you and smile
Your aura blinds me
As you’re silhouette fills my mind

Your love has left me speechless
Not many words to describe
What it is that I’m feeling
Has got me burning up inside

I can’t help it when I hover
Always hugging & kissing on you
The love you’ve given me
Makes it so easy to un-dotingly
Give it back to you

You mean so much to me
Hopefully with time you’ll see
My heart is pure and true
And all the love I have to give
I Only want to give it to you

When Darkness Falls

 

Don’t know why it’s so hard

Feels like these lines

Just empty letters pushed together

Nothing taken seriously

Or attempt to hear me out

Nothing makes it better

 Looking on in sadness

Waiting for this darkness to end

© Lisa Goycochea

Chapter 30 - Still Unwritten

Today should have been
What most get to call a happy day
Dinner, some dancing
Maybe a corny anniversary card or two
Pity all I got this year was pent-up anger towards you

Though it’s hard to get past my rage
Today is the day I’m turning the page
On to a new chapter in my life
Only as a mother, not as your wife
For us time has stood still
Hours seem like days
Days seem like weeks
Weeks turning into months
Some days nothing seems to matter
So unattached but mostly scattered

An unwritten chapter …
Where shall I start?
I feel like I’m new at this
The “living my own life” part
Tired
Scared
Not sure what to expect
But today I’ll try
Putting one foot in front of the next

Trying to be strong
But so much can go wrong
Living life on purpose
Living like I’m sure
Waking up like I mean it
Trying not to end up
Again behind this door

A hint of hesitation
A lot racing through my mind
Not sure what to look for
So afraid of what I’ll find
Everything’s moving fast
Maybe I need more time to think this through
Afraid to face the world
Afraid to start anew
Pulse racing
Heart pounding
Chocked up by uncertainty
Slowly giving up
Sinking back in my shadow
For one more day in my sorrow’s I’ll wallow
And who knows………
Maybe I’ll try this “New Chapter” again tomorrow!

Frayed (Random Thought)

 

Battered and beaten

Black  and blue

Busted and defeated

By this world I thought I knew

 

© Lis Goycochea

Is it you

 

 

I'm looking for someone to share my heart with

Is it you

The one who I can run to

Could that be you

Someone who can make me smile

Holds my hands and chase away the pain

Is it you 

Tell  me it’ll be alright when things don’t look so bright

Is it you

Are you the one for me ?

 

 

 

 

 © Lisa Goycochea