The Pages

The pages

Interlaced with my life
Seems too much to bear
Overcome by criticism
Can’t seem to keep you near
I lock me away
Thought I lost the keys
But here, I find me
Feeding your curiosity

Laying alone
Envisioning everything crashing down
Feeling overwhelmed, too upset to cry
I close my eyes, …..thinking
It would be so much easier
If only I lied

Nothing good,
Ever comes from looking back
Only forward,
Repairing and replace the things
From the past that you lacked

There is nothing more about it
That I want to say
For there are things that still
Haunts me up to this day
The things I had no hand in weaving
Just a child’s, painful incision
Too much avoidable hurt
If only with better adult supervision

Can’t change
How life’s’ circumstances made me
I try to open up
Yet I am beaten, broken and left bruised always
Drowned by my words
Strangled by my “history”
The things about me
That many declare a mystery

Tired of the convictions
The disappointing tone
Can’t handle, just me
Then it’s best you go
Leave me the option
Of growing….
Or simple …..
Let me be alone .