He Loves Me

A warm breeze so inviting  

Nature at its best

A little sunshine

A little mist 

Then came our rainbow bliss

Gazing out at the afternoon sky

We sat and watched the clouds rolled by

Ever so tightly we embraced

As I gently kissed his face

Softly he whispered in my ear

As his voice echoed sweetly; stirring the air    

I smiled as I held him tighter

Trying to settle my heart pounding in my chest

I closed my eyes and thought; how much I've been blessed

A perfect day it turned out to be

Today is the day

The man I Love

Declared he too, Loves me.

 

© Lisa Goycochea

 

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Twas the night before Christmas, alone in the house
Not a sound to be heard, not even a spouse
Nothing was hung, wishing no holiday cheer
No sounds of laughter filled the air
Huddled in bed, since there is nothing to do
Trying to push through the holiday blues

Annas’ asleep, probably dreaming of her list
Your dad’s not here, I’m growing more and more pist
No friends or family around
There all in Miami
Eating lechon by the mounds

And as that thought crossed my head
I heard a swooshing sound
With a spring and a hop
I jumped out of bed

On nana, on iva, on karla and phil
You are all my buddies,

INCOMPLETE….

A Bill For Santa

Here we are almost Christmas time
Hustling and bustling through the lines
Running our fingers down the list
Checking it twice to see who we've missed
The temperatures dropping,
Today its 60 degrees
You might say that's not cold
But in Florida that's too cold a breeze
Windows are all deck out in festive décor
Enticing more shoppers into their stores

With only a few more days to go
And no presents yet to show
So much to buy in so little a time
Only a few dollars left and a couple dimes
October & November were just a glance;
and once again, this holiday season
Has left me worried about my finance

Christmas is kind of special
We all agree so there's no doubt
If you've been good at all this year,
Then there is no need to pout

We love to see the twinkle in their eyes
As they open their gifts with so much surprise
From Santa: the cards would read
Everyone's got what they wanted
Even things they don't need

Since To Santa all the credits will go
I'm sure ole Saint Nick would like to know
That I've all kept my receipts
To remind him how much he owes



Happy Holidays
From My Family to Yours.

MY WEEKEND IN THE BAHAMAS

MY WEEKEND IN THE BAHAMAS


Friday
Well on the way to the Port of Miami after 5 minutes of jumping on I- 95 my tire blew out while I was in the middle lane, luckily I didn't hit anyone while swerving across.. ..

But anyway standing out on 95 in this Florida weather was no joke, everyone zooming by without a care in the world.. attempting to change my tire!! And I say "attempting" very lightly since I didn't pay attention when I was shown how to—I was at loss as to what I was doing – didn't go too well....

Frustrated from my lack of knowledge and for the mare fact that we live in a society where no one stops to help if you seem to be in distressed on the roadside. I called roadside assistance they told me ETA was 45 minutes to an hour, which was way too long in my book of "hauling ass to Miami", since I refuse to miss my boat.

So in all attempts to get my tired fixed, I -- being my crazy ole self- removed my shirt and again, attempted to change my tire in my Bra alongside I-95, thought it was funny at the time, within 5 minutes of removing said shirt..

My night in shining roadside heaven, pulled up, took charge and in no time changed my tire and was on his way.. THANKS AGAIN FRANK!!!

Now I'm behind by 1 hour, decided to push my limits and drive to Miami from PSL on my doughnut at 70mph. Made it with 30 minutes to spare.

On board of course we had to do the whole Muster Emergency Drill, incase we go down like the titanic., which lasted around 30 minutes getting everyone pushed together in front of life boats adorned with life vest.

Found our cabin, got cleaned up and headed out to tour my new diggs on the ocean for the next couple days. Of course headed to the bar to start that tour with a pina colada in hand.

Went to a Magic Show, was OK!! Missed out on that 70s' party, which I was looking forward to but ended up at the Latin Quarter for drinks and dancing.

The girls turned in early, to excited to sleep, I figure I can sleep when i die, so I went roaming, trying to find some form of trouble to get into but other than that just enjoyed the rest of the night.



Saturday
First stop was Coco Cay- Royal Caribbean's Private Island… the weather was great, food uummm Fantastic

Activity of choice was Parasailing, the view was spectacular in a non scary- pit of your stomach, height – only 400 ft, not to mention the boat was hauling ass, ...so that was really fun, i think that activity was more for couples, because the view was so good, just makes you want to make-out with the peson gallantly sitting next to you in mid-air at 400ft...

Got back to the island and chilled out for a bit. The water was good but I didn't get in, just lounged with my ipod and my book, attempting to write but couldn't focus, too much going on at the moment.
…oh yea got pooped on by a seagull too, while attempting to nap.. too bad I didn't have a BB-Gun..

Captains' Gala Dinner was very elegant, way too fancy but still nice, I looked good, I felt good and everything just fell into place, the food was spectacular and the service- non other compares. Pictures, Pictures, Pictures- photo opportunities everywhere and of course I took full advantage.

The SHOWS were good, some funny, others not so much. Missed most of the Games, but heard they were wild.

The CASINO- not so good - being a sore looser and not much of a quitter, I lost way too much money way too soon and couldn't quit.

Other than that the ship was beauteous, lots to see and do, never a dull moment except for missing that special someone on my arm.

The Dancing Under the Stars Midnight Party was hilarious, from electric slide to the cupid shuffle had everyone moving and grooving in the wee hours of mid-morning. The food setup and demonstrations had me in awe, had me missing what I love to do most, which is cooking.




Sunday
Tendered in the gorgeous Nassau Bahamas, while everyone slept from being hungover and tired from all that midnight partying I was eager and full of excitement, couldn't wait to get off the ship to go explore.

Finally got off – headed out on our tour; very interesting stuff but I cant remember any of it, all I kept thinking was, LETS HIT THE SHOPS… but Atlantis Paradise was my favorite stop of course.. the Hotel was amazing, the murals were magnificent, the photos I took does not do them justice. The aquarium was very nice, and the casino was ok.. A suite can easily go for $200, 000 per night.. wow…

we were very late getting back to the tour bus; so much to see so many wonderful stores so little time to power shop through them all..
Made it back in the nick of time though.. still had a few photo opps, because we weren't the only ones back late.

Last stop was Senior Frogs for lunch and drinks… WoW

It's the place to be when in the Bahamas, of course they had a dance off on the bar, I was summoned and pushed into getting up there- but then again the MC was holding free drinks for the winner..
Waited patiently for my turn and showed them how its done – JAMAICAN STYLE -…
Almost fell off the stage, shaking my tush but, OH well.. I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!
FREE DRINKS ON THE HOUSE..

Headed back to the ship after some more crazy unnecessary shopping AND of course I found the only STARBUCKS in Providence. Yeah me!!!
The rest of the evening was quite, all that walking and power shopping made me giddy and tired, went to dinner with the girls with much goofing off as possible, disturbed most of the peace had the older/ more prude folks scoffing because we were deliriously scandalous, but whatever!! Last day on Vacay- just trying to enjoy our time.

Took a final walk admiring any and everything because the weather was so perfect, made it to the cabin and started packing…

NOPE!!! No shows or partying tonight.. just wanted to relax in my room, maybe take a few scandalous pics all by myself and just chill.. Kept thinking about my morning when I get off the ship..
---Getting my tire fixed to head back to PSL,
----the long drive by myself and of course getting to work.. uuuuhhh!

But got off the ship after 2 hours of wait time, couldn't believe parking was $60 just for the couple days but finally made it out of Miami.


Can't wait for my next trip, maybe I'll get to take that special someone with me next time

Does She ? (So Random)

Does she make you smile
Does she make you laugh the way I do
Can she keep your secrets like I can
Does she?
Will she still want you if she knew

© Lisa Goycochea

Forgiveness (Random Thought)

 

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

 

© Lisa Goycochea

SCAMMED on Craigslist

Just when I thought things were looking up, My life throws me a curve ball.

Finally I can add SCAMMED to my life's lessons.

I tried to get rid of a few things for my move into my new place, since most of it wouldn't fit anyway and I really didn't want to take all my "old baggage" with me. I posted my bedroom set on craigslist.com, after 4 days of posting; I received an email from a guy out of state that was interested in buying.

We exchanged emails a couple times, about payment and pickup, he said that was fine he was going to send payment and arrange for someone to pickup the furniture. A week later, I received a UPS envelope with a check for $3000. I started wondering why he would send me a check for so much, anyway before I touched it, I emailed him to find out the reason for the over-payment, he said the bank cut the check and did it wrong, so all I had to do was: deposit or cash the check and when it clears to send the excess portion ($2000) to the shipper who is in cape coral, fl. in order for them to pick it up.

I deposited the check; it took the bank 10 days to clear it. After the funds were available, I notified the buyer so he can get the info to his shipper. He asked me to send it by money gram to Kevin in Cape Coral, FL. I did that and sent him the reference info so he can get with his shipper.

2 days later he (buyer) sent me an email asking me if I can send him the money back because, the person he was purchasing the furniture for got in a terrible car accident and he would need the money to help pay for the hospital bill and that he contacted the shipper to stop the pickup and return the money to him.. at this point I started feeling weird (like this WAS a scam) so I started collecting email correspondence that was exchanged between us, I copied the money gram receipt and I had already kept a copy of the check. JUST IN CASE.

I spoke to a couple people about my gut feeling and they all shared my though about the whole thing being a scam, but there was not much I could have done then, because I had already sent off the excess money to the shipper.

Got paid yesterday, called the bank because I tried to get gas this morning and couldn't, so now I'm worried abit because I got paid last night by direct deposit, and haven't really spent anything. Got to work called the bank they said I have a zero balance, and that the check for the $3000 was returned unpaid, so now they took my money that I just worked my ass all week for and I still owe them ($2,114) basically the money that I sent by money gram to this asshole, I have to replace.

So not only will none of my bills be paid, I have no money until I get paid in the next two weeks plus I still have to repay the bank, because they said there is really nothing they can do because the check was in my name, I was the one who deposited it and not someone else and that I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR IT.

Like Hell I am, they cleared the check so on my part, I'm thinking ---- the bank cleared the check so why should I be held responsible.

I stopped my direct deposit for the next pay period so I can at least be able to pay some of my bills at the beginning of next month. I keep telling myself I am not going to cry, just have to stop being so trusting in people, BUT AGAIN THIS TOO SHALL PASS JUST LIKE EVERY OUNCE OF DARKNESS THAT HAS SHADOWED MY LIFE THIS YEAR.


Now I have to go fight with the fraud department on my lunch break

Power of Prayer

Haven't been on in a while, haven't had a minute to write anything since I've been busy, trying to start life over on my own. But this week has been the week straight from of hell. but things are looking up, its really really hard right now, going at it with the lawyers, taking days off to go to court, running around trying to find a new place, because I gave myself a deadline to move (end of august) and i'm sticking to it. Decided it was time to get out of my house and (start my own life) not with something we built for a family that's broken, but something I can build on my own and still be happy.

My whole week was bad but Thursday tipped the scales causing me to have an anxiety attack at work, normally I don't let things get to me AT ALL but the devil was really jabbing at me, finally broke in, and I CAVED as expected.


While trying to look at apartments with the only time I really get to do it (after work). All day the temperature was maybe -5 degrees to a heat stroke, then out of nowhere, no clouds, no warning the sky opened up and it just started pouring down, as if I was supposed to just give up.


Didn't like the town homes I saw, the second one I guess because it was raining the other person didn't show up for the viewing despite me sitting in the parking lot for at least 30 minutes in the rain, got frustrated and decided I had to get going.


By then the rain eased up and the most amazing rainbow came out and I kept watching it as I drive (don't ever try that by the way), thinking how amazing and beautiful the little things can be, and for a moment I completely forgot about everything (my ex, my overpriced lawyers and their jargon, house hunting, packing, work) just everything that happened earlier that 'cause me to flip out, and for that moment I felt – calm for some reason.


As I drove off, I was thinking and saying to myself (I know you are there and I know I don't always look up, its hard to give into faith and just trust when I've been disappointed so many times, but I know you are there watching and guiding regardless)


Headed out on US1 the rain subsided, slowly I drove home, no stereo to interrupt just lost in thought, by then it was 6.30 my phone rang, a realtor (john, who lives in MO) called me after I left him a message 2 days ago, he said the one I was interested in was already sold but he has connections with other realtors in my area and will give then a call and call me back in 2 minutes.


He called me back in 5minutes with the number to another realtor and said he gave her my info and I should give her a call, I thanked him and hung up, thinking I'll call in the morning because it's already late in the evening


Before I could hang up the phone with john, I got a call from Kathy saying john gave her my info and if I wanted to come by and view the place I can because she will be there another 30 minutes….. Now I'm thinking??? I'm puzzled!! it was still daylight but its late (no one shows apartments at that hour of the day) it took me a good 30 minutes to get there because I got lost and it was raining again. By then it was 7pm


When I got there and saw the place- my mouth fell open, I could believe what I was looking at for the price she was telling me.


we looked at a few more, she said I have to pay an application fee to run my credit so I can qualify and start the process, told her I would be back the next day with the money, thanked her profusely because she made my evening seem brighter. I went home showered, (I ran out of boxes so I couldn't pack anything, bored out of my mind because anna was with her dad, so with not much I can do) I crawled into bed and prayed like I never prayed before.


I prayed for me
I prayed for her
I prayed for everyone near & far
I prayed for enemies that became friends
I prayed for friends who revel in becoming & staying enemies
I prayed for everyone that has tried to hold me down
I prayed for everyone that seems to standing in my way
I prayed for the ones that smile with me & stabs me in the back
I prayed for enlightenment
I prayed for "him" he who hath made my heart crumble
- even though I was hurt, I never want to see him stumble or falter
And lastly I asked for guidance, peace of mind and understanding.


After all that praying (I think I went to bed 5 lbs lighter)
Got up Friday took the scenic route to work, found out I had no money to do the application because of a few other things with my lawyer. so I would have to wait till next week when I got paid, I was a little sad but didn't let it get me down (if its meant to be it will be) my heart felt little lighter, I was off to a very good start, plus its Friday, everyone noticed I was little bit chirpier, which is a big thing, because everyone can tell when something is up with me, because I always put on a smile no matter what.


Anyway, was talking to a friend of mine, said he will loan me the money for the application even though I didn't ask for it, which I thought was really sweet but still declined because of pride. He was persistent about it, made a few good points about what's more important, right now. So of course I took the offer.


I was ESTATIC, I COULDNT WAIT TILL LUNCH to go start the application, I got there took another look at MINE AND MY DAUGHTERS future community.. it was just as beautiful as the first time i saw it, then worry started to set in, "THE WHAT IF?......"


Left thinking what if I don't get it, what if they don't accept my offer, what if my credit is not good enough then I'll loose my fee and then I'm back to square one.
I don't want to get my hopes up and then be sad again about something I never had.
Got back to work, could barely sit still in my chair – waiting for the realtor to call me.


At 2pm the realtor called me and said I GOT THE PLACE. I could barely breathe (alil dramatic I know, but after roadblock after roadblock all week, THIS WAS MY SILVER LINING). Now deciding when to move in is another thing because I still have to pack, which is minor… since I decided I'm selling everything in my house so I wont have to worry about carrying huge furniture with me, plus if I got rid of everything, I would be starting with a clean palette which is what I am looking for.


Within 30 minutes of my first call, another realtor called me saying the townhouse I was interested in came through: THEY ACCEPTED MY OFFER and its mine if I want it, I just have to sign the papers and fax it back to her ASAP


OH MY GOODNESS: again in AWE, yesterday, I wanted to curl up and just forget the world because of my search and everything in between and today I have 2 beautiful places that I loved, wanted, got and don't know which one to choose from.


Decisions, Decisions, I had everyone in my office helping me with my pros & cons & my "CAN I AFFORD IT" spreadsheet, everyone laughs at it, but I think it's a very realistic spreadsheet.


So I decided to go take another peek into the place and decide from there. I did and of course I saw things clearer more so than when I first walked in without any options, so I made my decision. And will be moving in end of august… Great community has all the amenities I was looking for considering my daughter. It has more space for shoes than I can ever fill and to top it off its 10 minutes from my job, now thats what I call a blessing.


MORAL TO MY DRAMA is: there is nothing a little prayer cant fix, when life circumstances forces you to your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray.

Message in a bottle

There goes my message in a bottle
I’ve sent it out to sea
Hoping no one finds it
And release what’s left of me
Trying so hard not to remember
All the sweet things I did seek
Thought I found something special
Something worthwhile
Even precious enough to keep
Silently I watch the tide
Take everything I thought I had
Taunting my watchful eye
Pulling it further and further
Dragging it out to deep
So much I locked away in this bottle
Now it’s being swept away
Popping up and down with a wobble
Finally it disappeared from sight
My message filled with emotion
Lost forever
Out on this merciless ocean

Resilience

Today i woke up fighting through tears to breathe
even throughout the day, i catch myself drying off in the rain
drying my eyes pushing through the anxiety
stretching my strangled smile, ignoring the pain
seems lately I've been letting my path slowly consume me
feeling overwhelmed for what has...
angry at what is....
impatient at what should be...
and scared for what could be...
forgetting to breathe has become so easy
so for a change,

Today.......... I didnt pray for my journey to be easy,
but for strength and resilience to endure this difficult one