Its the things not said ..

The words that aren’t spoken
Tends to hurt the most
Diminishing the one thing
We’ve been holding so close
Can’t help but wonder; Why me,
In the present, is so hard to be seen
But next time you want to judge
Who and Where I’ve been
Before you point that finger,
Make sure your hands are clean

The Pages

The pages

Interlaced with my life
Seems too much to bear
Overcome by criticism
Can’t seem to keep you near
I lock me away
Thought I lost the keys
But here, I find me
Feeding your curiosity

Laying alone
Envisioning everything crashing down
Feeling overwhelmed, too upset to cry
I close my eyes, …..thinking
It would be so much easier
If only I lied

Nothing good,
Ever comes from looking back
Only forward,
Repairing and replace the things
From the past that you lacked

There is nothing more about it
That I want to say
For there are things that still
Haunts me up to this day
The things I had no hand in weaving
Just a child’s, painful incision
Too much avoidable hurt
If only with better adult supervision

Can’t change
How life’s’ circumstances made me
I try to open up
Yet I am beaten, broken and left bruised always
Drowned by my words
Strangled by my “history”
The things about me
That many declare a mystery

Tired of the convictions
The disappointing tone
Can’t handle, just me
Then it’s best you go
Leave me the option
Of growing….
Or simple …..
Let me be alone .

Unfold Me

Always a barrier
That needs tearing down
I try to be the simple girl
And never wear a frown
My life has changed me
More bad than good
Many tend to see
My outward projection & criticize
My misunderstood imperfection
Hold me
Tell me it’ll be ok
Keep me
Tell me
You want me to stay
Help!
Take my hand
Hear my voice
Help me see
Because in your eyes
I am small
I am needy
I am helpless
Don’t turn away
Unfold and Love me

Circles

Feels like I’ve been here
So many times before
Standing at this same crossroad
Tear soaked cheeks
And a heavier heart
I’ve stared at this path
That has no end
Resentment and anger
Both closely hovering
Deluded by hurt and blame
So much locked in
So much baggage carried in my heart
Don’t mean to hurt
Or tear another story apart
There’s no one to run to
No shoulders to catch my tears
No arms to hold me close
And chase away those fears
Alone I face the world
One sunrise at a time
Burying everything else within
Living today as if there is no other
And even though I hurt
No one knows my pain
Because through it all
I’ll always continue smiling

What is LOVE

Excerp from the Movie: 2001 Captain corelli mandolin
nick cage and Penelope cruz

"Love is temporary madness; it erupts like volcanos, then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because that is what love is. Love is not breathlessness. It is not excitement. It is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being in love, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love have roots that grow toward each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree, not two."

Emotional Weakness

I wear my heart under my sleeve
To be seen but not by many
Challenging the future and what it has in store
Getting up with a longing, searching for more
Why do we need to be loved?
Why is it hard to accept, when we find it?
Why isn’t it ever enough?
Where is the love that holds simplicity?
Why do we make it an obsession
To be in Love with Love itself?

I’ve given everything of me so freely
Loving wholly, unwise but still completely
Never wanting anything in return
Knowing I have so much to give
Wanting, yearning, craving more
Those moments that makes you weak
Melts the heart and captures your speech
Embraces that make the world around you disappear
Holding on to that moment
Because with no one else you would rather share
Giving everything you’ve got
That emotion we feel, but never find the right words to say
In your powerless and weakest moment, it’ll confront you
Convince you to let go, trust and blindly jump in
Some are fortunate to find it
Others never knew they wanted it till they lost it
Buried deep inside, this emotional weakness
With the power to rip you apart bit by bit
And yet put you back together with that first kiss

Lost and Found

Today I found something
Truly mysterious and rare
A golden box with a heart
That needed care
Was just another day
Moving about my way
And there it was
Laying there,
Just because
Open and vulnerable
For all the world to see
But no one did,
not a soul but me
How can it be?
Me, Finding a vessel
Designed so beautifully
Perplexed by its design
Astound by its presence
How could one be so blind?
Leaving such a precious gift behind
I took it in my hands and held it near
And promised now and always
To love, cherish and give it endless care


Incomplete ………….

FOR YOU

For you, I will close my eyes and dream
Warm sunshine, for those rainy days
Those rainy days, that turn into memories
And when all seems lost, through my eyes
I’ll hope for you warmth and calmness
from the sunrise on the horizon
that smiles upon your face
and ever so gently softens your heart

Falling

Floating in this a shapeless form
Pulled apart and slowly drawn back together
Feels like im drowning in my thoughts
Don’t seem to get much sleep at night
But I know soon everything will be alright

Waves

As I stood on the edge
Just peering down
A calming rush of feelings
Feelings of being swept up overcame
Watching
Waiting for more
Mesmerized by perilous waves
Crashing against the bough
My thought ran abit wild
Nothing stood still in my mind
Scattered yet in awe
Matters of the heart
Swirling through time
Filled with so much passion
Strong and demanding
Yet giving up without resistance
Ripples backing down
Dying slowing
Drowning in softness
What was once fierce?
Now mollified
Beaten
Only to start all over again
I listen for the calm
Smiling, just watching
Wondering
If you can see it too